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Why are people with borderline personality disorder so capable of ripping someone apart with their words?

Last Updated: 19.06.2025 00:18

Why are people with borderline personality disorder so capable of ripping someone apart with their words?

I’m so sorry to the people who love me for me. I’m so fucking sorry, because when you gave me a safe space to show my true colors, to be myself, to express myself…you got the angry version of me. The resentful version of me. The hateful version of me. The hurt version of me. The depressed version of me. The worst. Fucking. Version. Of me.

Because someone once ripped me apart with their words.

The only way I could protect my broken heart was to get meaner than the vipers who broke me. Colder than the hearts who were supposed to care for me. When it hurts I have to pretend to be indifferent. When I’m falling apart I have to fake it until I make it. When I’m disrespected I have to be perfectly fucking stoic or it will be used against me. I have to grey rock people who were meant to be kind to me.

I’m wondering about attachment and transference with the therapist and the idea of escape and fantasy? How much do you think your strong feelings, constant thoughts, desires to be with your therapist are a way to escape from your present life? I wonder if the transference serves another purpose than to show us our wounds and/or past experiences, but is a present coping strategy for managing what we don’t want to face (even if unconsciously) in the present—-current relationships, life circumstances, etc. Can anyone relate to this concept of escape in relation to their therapy relationship? How does this play out for you?

Let me correct myself. Not once. Not twice. Maybe, more than a hundred times. It’s embedded in me like deep scar tissue; an imprint from people who were supposed to love me.

I’m so. Fucking. Sorry.

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